My experience with being a med student w spouse and kid (1)
I had my daughter before med school started. I interviewed while she was four months old, I was nursing, and it was my first time EVER being away from her. Lets say that this was not my best day and I'm surprised that I even got into med school. So, after a post-bac year and some adjustment I started with her being 21 months old. During first year I lived about an hour away and drove in to school (NOT recommended) just to be closer to family. Moving to Buffalo (and 15 min from school) was more expensive but has saved my sanity. I have to say that having family around really makes a difference. Less stress and worrying about who will be there when your not. There are some days in our schedule that you really can't get out of even if your kid(s) is sick. And the spouse is always helpful too. But there are days when he has to work too, sometimes weekends. A lot of my friends at school have really stepped up and been very helpful. They have baby-sat when I needed to run to the store or when my spouse and I
had date night.
My schedule during school went something like what follows: 6:30a wake up and haul butt to school (try not to forget gloves/hats/and that you didn't eat breakfast), 8-noon: class, noon-3:30: eat, study, study, study, 3:30ish: pick up kid from daycare (right on UB campus), 4p-8p: make dinner, clean, try to play with kid, bathe, book, and bed (in that order), 8p-whenever you can stay up: STUDY. On a side note, the more discipline you use early, the easier it will be down the line. So make sure to use time-outs or whatever works for your kid.
I find that sticking to that schedule kept my sanity and helped my put things in perspective. When I have time to study, I do it. When I have time to play with her, its her time. I try not to mix the two things too much. And I didn't add my spouse in there, but her time was also his time. With some time later at night just us :-)
My advice is keep to a schedule, the younger they are the easier this is to do and get them used to it. You still have to take time out for your partner, so do it. Have date nights or whatever floats your boat. If you have family, use them, especially those weekends before an exam when you may need that extra 4 hours to do work. The best advice I ever received was to not get upset about not making honors, your not the same student as your single peers are, you have other important responsibilities. Not that you shouldn't try, just don't get too upset about it.
Having a family puts everything into perspective for me. I probably wouldn't study or work as hard if it wasn't for them. I'm taking time away from them, so it better be spent well while I'm gone. Your always gonna have guilt about being away, but who doesn't. The first two years of med school is a lot more flexible that the last two (so I'm told). So remember, you have the time off (no/few afternoon classes) if you have young children. It works for me because I make sacrifices like not hanging out with my friends. And my spouse made sacrifices too, like getting a job closer to school and changing his work schedule to accommodate us.
